The table illustrates the percentage of school children attending four different types of
secondary school from 2000 to 2009. It is evident that the specialist, grammar and
voluntary-controlled schools experienced declines in numbers of pupils, whereas the
community schools became the most important providers of secondary school education
during the same period.
To begin, the proportion in voluntary-controlled schools fell from just over half to only 20%
or one fifth from 2000 to 2009. Similarly, the relative number of children in grammar
schools — just under one quarter — dropped by half in the same period. As for the specialist
schools, the relatively small percentage of pupils attending this type of school (12%) also
fell, although not significantly.
However, while the other three types of school declined in importance, the opposite was
true in the case of community schools. In fact, while only a small minority of 12% were
educated in these schools in 2000, this figure increased to well over half of all pupils
during the following nine years.
Words 170
Estimated IELTS Band Score: 7.5 – 8.0
- Task Achievement (7.5): Describes the main changes clearly and makes relevant comparisons. Could include minor additional details for completeness.
- Coherence & Cohesion (8.0): Well-organized with clear paragraphs and logical progression.
- Lexical Resource (7.5): Good range of vocabulary; potential for more synonyms in places.
- Grammar & Accuracy (7.5): Mostly accurate sentence structures, with room for slightly more varied complex sentences.
Rewritten Essays
Band 8
The table shows the proportions of students attending four different types of secondary schools in three years: 2000, 2005, and 2009. Overall, while specialist, grammar, and voluntary-controlled schools saw declines, community schools increased substantially and became the dominant choice by 2009.
In 2000, more than half of students (52%) were enrolled in voluntary-controlled schools. However, this figure dropped to just 20% in 2009. Grammar schools also declined significantly from 24% to 12% over the same period, while the percentage attending specialist schools fell slightly from 12% to 10%.
By contrast, community schools saw a dramatic rise. Starting at only 12% in 2000, their share grew to 32% in 2005, then soared to 58% by 2009, making them the most popular type of secondary school. These trends suggest that many pupils shifted away from the other three categories toward community schools during this nine-year span.
Word Count: 154
Band 9
The table compares the percentage of secondary-school students attending four types of schools—specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled, and community—across three points in time (2000, 2005, and 2009). Overall, specialist, grammar, and voluntary-controlled schools experienced declines in enrollment, whereas community schools expanded considerably, ultimately becoming the leading provider by 2009.
In 2000, voluntary-controlled schools commanded the largest share at 52%, yet this figure plummeted to just 20% by 2009. Grammar schools also saw a steep drop from 24% to 12%, while specialist schools declined more modestly from 12% to 10%. Collectively, these three categories lost significant ground over the decade.
In stark contrast, community schools surged from a mere 12% in 2000 to 32% in 2005, then nearly doubled again to 58% by 2009, surpassing all other types. This shift indicates a clear trend toward community-based education, as students increasingly moved away from the other three options during the nine-year period.
Word Count: 161
Comparison Table
| Aspect | Band 7-8 Version | Band 9 Version |
|---|---|---|
| Vocabulary | Clear terms (e.g., “declines,” “dramatic rise”) | More precise/academic (e.g., “experienced declines,” “ultimately becoming”) |
| Sentence Structure | Mostly direct with some complex sentences | More varied, with subordinate clauses and smooth transitions |
| Data Presentation | Mentions key figures for each school type and references major changes | Provides sharper contrasts, emphasizes the magnitude of changes more clearly |
| Clarity & Cohesion | Logical flow, good paragraphing | Slightly more polished transitions and concluding statements |
Examples from Essays
| Aspect | Band 7-8 Example | Band 9 Example |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence Structure | “By contrast, community schools saw a dramatic rise from 12% in 2000 to 58% in 2009.” | “In stark contrast, community schools surged from a mere 12% in 2000 to 32% in 2005, then nearly doubled again to 58% by 2009.” |
| Data Presentation | “Voluntary-controlled schools dropped from 52% to 20%, while grammar schools fell from 24% to 12%.” | “In 2000, voluntary-controlled schools commanded the largest share at 52%, yet this figure plummeted to just 20% by 2009.” |
| Clarity & Cohesion | “These trends suggest that many pupils shifted away from the other three categories toward community schools.” | “This shift indicates a clear trend toward community-based education, as students increasingly moved away from the other three options.” |
Grammar Mistakes
- Original: “The table shows the percentage of school children attending four different type of secondary school from 2000 to 2009.”
Correction: “The table shows the percentage of schoolchildren attending four different types of secondary school from 2000 to 2009.” (Fix plural noun and compound noun “schoolchildren.”) - Original: “Voluntary-controlled schools was the largest category in 2000, at 52%, but it decreased to only 20% by 2009.”
Correction: “Voluntary-controlled schools were the largest category in 2000, at 52%, but this figure decreased to only 20% by 2009.” (Subject-verb agreement and clarity.) - Original: “Meanwhile, the share of pupils in specialist schools dropped from 12% to 10%, although not significantly.”
Correction: “Meanwhile, the share of pupils in specialist schools dropped from 12% to 10%, though not significantly.” (Minor phrasing improvement.)
Vocabulary Repetition
| Repeated Word | Suggested Alternatives |
|---|---|
| “Drop” / “Decline” | Fall, Decrease, Plummet, Dip |
| “Rise” / “Increase” | Surge, Climb, Grow, Jump |
| “Largest / Most” | Leading, Dominant, Primary, Highest |
IELTS Writing Task 1 Exercises with Answers
Fill in the blanks using the words below:
(dominated, surged, dropped, minority, accounted for, proportion, contrast)
- In 2000, voluntary-controlled schools _______ the largest _______ of pupils at 52%.
Answer: accounted for, proportion - Specialist schools, by ______, had only 12% in 2000 and 10% in 2009.
Answer: contrast - Community schools _______ from 12% in 2000 to 58% in 2009, overtaking the other three categories.
Answer: surged - Grammar schools _______ significantly from 24% to 12%, leaving them with a small _______ of pupils.
Answer: dropped, minority - By 2009, community schools effectively _______ secondary education, with nearly three-fifths of all students enrolled.
Answer: dominated
